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I had a weird dream last night. I was on safari in Africa. I dreamt I was hand feeding a Hippo. I woke up with my hand between the wife’s legs!

admin Oct 9, 2025

I had a weird dream last night.
I was on safari in Africa.
I dreamt I was hand feeding a Hippo.
I woke up with my hand between the wife’s legs!

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October 9, 2025
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I was unpacking the groceries when I picked up a bunch of bananas and saw a long hairy leg poking out. Closer inspection revealed it was a very large Brazilian Wandering Spider, the most venomous in the world, and not something you would want to touch. It was obviously dazed from being imported in refrigerated conditions, so I carefully placed the bananas back into the carrier bag and tied the handles. Then I did the sensible thing. I shouted upstairs to my wife, “Just off to the pub, darling. Only one last bag to unpack, if you could do the honours.”

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October 9, 2025
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A doctor was doing his rounds in a hospital when he overhears a conversation between two African nurses. One says, “It’s spelled ‘whoooom’.” The other says, “No, I’m sure it’s spelled ‘whooouuum’.” They carry on like this for a bit, then the doctor goes over to them and says, “I’ll settle this for you, it’s spelled ‘womb’.” One of the nurses replies, “Look, I doubt you’ve ever seen a hippo, let alone heard one farting underwater’.

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