A rich Barnsley lad wants to commemorate his well-loved dog, who has just died, by making a gold statue of it, so he pops off to his local jeweller. He says to the jeweller, “Can thee mek me a gold statue o’ me dog?” The jeweller replies, “Certainly, sir. Would you like it 18 carat?” To which the Barnsley lad says, “No, daft lad, I want it chewing a bone!”